Will, had he been born on his due date, would have turned 1 yesterday.
And instead of a birthday celebration, Scott and I are going to go to dinner, like we do with each passing "would have been" birthday of our 3 lost babies, and quietly celebrate. And only tears of joy are allowed. Of course, knowing me, I will end up crying and then figure out a way to convince Scott that they are happy tears. Then he will order me lots of dessert to cheer me up, but since I am pregnant and hormonal, I will be so touched by his gesture that tears will flow again.
It's funny how such a short time with a baby can leave such a lasting imprint on your heart.
Will, you were with us for 12 weeks and 5 days. And we really did enjoy every moment. We still have all of your pictures from the 7 ultrasounds we had and I can still remember watching you on the screen. I remember laughing with Scott when we first heard your heartbeat and I can remember sitting at the table one morning while giving myself a shot and Scott rubbing my back and saying to me, "Where there is a Will, there is a way". I remember going to small group one Sunday night over at Seth and Britni's and all of the ladies touching my slightly protruding belly and talking about how firm pregnant tummies are. I remember feeling so connected to you, like I felt with the first two babies. And I remember feeling so empty when I realized that you were no longer with me.
You are just as special to us as you were when we found out we were pregnant. And you are still our "strong-willed" baby. we talk about you a lot. And while we both are incredibly sad that we don't get to watch you grow up, we are even more excited to meet you someday.
We miss you so much. And love you even more.
5 comments:
Oh boy. This makes my heart hurt! Will is loved indeed! I am glad you celebrate these beauties on their special days- and my heart aches to meet these little ones one day too. Love you, girl!
love you, Will. I think about you every time I think about my little ones. I hope you know them and play with them. I'm sure you do. I'm sure you are all beautiful and happy and so full of joy. I can't wait to meet you.
Oh Will, you really do have the most amazing Mommy and Daddy!! They have touched everyone that crosses their path, and I am blessed to be one of them.
This takes my breath away! What would he and his brothers or sisters have been like? A delightful combination of you and Scott, I am sure!
I often think about my 5 precious grandchildren with my dad watching over them in his quiet, loving way and it helps me to know they are together. And we have the promise that someday we will be with them in the presence of the Lord! A new, forever beginning!
((hugs)) dear friend. oh how i know these feelings so well. i've got tears in my eyes just reading your words. no matter how long they are with us, those little lives forever leave imprints on our hearts. I am so glad that my three babies are up there playing with yours. and i cannot wait til the day we get to scoop them up in our arms for the first time. i love you friend. you mean the world to me
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